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 Friends
for Life
Enriching the Bond Between Mothers and Their Adult Daughters
Susan Jonas
There is an abundance of books designed
to aid parents in guiding their children through adolescence,
but few are aimed at those whose kids are no longer kids.
Since the role of parent is never outgrown (as desirable
as the idea may sound at times), a new communication approach
is necessary for parents to foster a close bond with their
adult children. With daughters in their 20s, Susan Jonas
and Marilyn Nissenson are familiar with the unique mother-daughter
dynamic and the inherent paradox in bridging the gap between
friendship and mothering. Friends for Life is their attempt
to assuage the confusion by sharing the wisdom gathered
by various women. To help answer their questions, the
authors enlisted some experts in the field, interviewing
more than 100 mothers from across the U.S. about the joys,
frustrations, and complexities of simultaneously reaching
out and letting go. The compilation of experience, warnings,
and words of wisdom is both instructive and endearing,
and the anecdotes are sure to elicit nods of recognition.
Touchy subjects such as selecting a partner, choosing
a career, and lifestyle choices are discussed honestly
and fairly, accounting for generational differences and
malleable societal norms. There is a razor-fine line between
dispensing advice and nagging, between expectations and
unconditional support, and the authors argue that recognizing
these boundaries is essential to a healthy and loving
relationship with a daughter. As with most good advice,
the real value is in spreading it around.
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